Burning Beacon in the Night
by Hountricky
Summary: 9's overcome with guilt and grief due to the death of five of his family members, believing himself to be at fault as he slowly goes downhill, while 7 becomes desperate to show him the truth. First person 7x9 fic.


I said I wasn't going to do any more fics for a while, but I really was desperate to give my bestie a gift, and because I finally have something I can do with at least an inkling of talent, I took the opportunity to write this out. The story behind it is, she drew a picture from an idea she had(it's on deviantArt, her account is PickledSuicune if you want to go look for it). I remember that, back then, she had very badly wished she could write a fic for it. Now, I think she'd be pretty good at writing fics. However, she doesn't feel the same.

Now, just under two years later, I recalled this and decided that's what I would do for her; fulfill a wish that was somewhat forgotten. So, here it is. I want to go over it and revise it but I can't figure out why; I can't think of any revisions. Oh well.

Listen to The Beacon by A Fine Frenzy while reading. ^^ It's the song the fic is inspired by. And as always, I own nothing but the writing for this story. The song and characters all belong to their rightful owners.

* * *

><p>Frost glittered on the ground, moonlight shedding its pale light on the grass through the light fog and throwing patterns of shadows along the earth. Slinking behind clumps of short grass and the dead remains of trees from long ago, I stepped lightly so as not to be heard, following a trail of footprints.<p>

I followed the path for a long while, always lagging behind him, not wanting to be seen. The rush of water whipped up by the wind hit my hearing sensors, and I squinted to see better. A dark silhouette walked up the long stony trail to the top of a hill situated above the lake. I tracked his movements easier as a light bulb clicked on, and watched as he settled on the edge, staring silently out at the water.

The moon, only every so often covered by a stray cloud, gave his brown fabric a ghostly glow. Quietly, I watched as he took out a tiny blade. I tensed, tempted to run out and grab his hand, and wrench the weapon away from him, remembering the discussion we'd had just a few days ago.

_I slipped into the room 9 occupied alone, hoping to see if he'd want to go out exploring. We always went out exploring or gathering together; though I was a loner at heart, having him around made everything more interesting, and made me stop to investigate things I might not have before. He was so thoughtful, it was hard to skip over things with him there; his curiosity was limitless and I honestly enjoyed teaching him everything I knew. And he in turn loved learning it all._

_But the words caught in my throat; 9 was hunched over, back turned to the door, muttering words with a tone that sounded…hateful and yet remorseful._

_He didn't notice me, and I couldn't help but listen in, having a feeling he wouldn't explain if I made my presence known._

"_Why'd I have to go and do that? That was the most stupid, idiotic thing anyone could ever do.. I killed everyone. It's all my fault, it's all my fault.."_

_Leaning my head over a bit, I saw a small blade gripped in his hand. His grip tightened as he continued to speak._

"_It's __**ALL MY FAULT**__. How could I have been so stupid? " Now he started trembling, and I was having a hard time remaining quiet._

"_Why, why, _WHY_? I don't deserve to be alive still! 1 sacrificed his life for me, despite the fact I killed _EVERYONE_… I nearly got 7 killed, and without her, 3 and 4 would have died too.. I had to go and be curious, I just had to know what it did. Well, how do you like it now, 9?"_

_I opened my mouth to speak, but hesitated as he continued still._

"_Your best friend is dead, your first friend is dead.. All they wanted was to make me happy, all they wanted was peace; but then I had to go and ignore the first piece of advice I received. I made 5 leave the cathedral; if I hadn't done that, he'd still be alive! And so would everyone else! What good have I done?"_

"_None, that's what! I don't deserve to live, I.. I'm not needed here, all I do is cause miser-"_

"…_9?"_

_He jumped about two inches, whirling around to face me. His optics were wide and fearful, and I saw him drop the knife and kick it under his bed._

"_S-…7, what.. What're you doing here? How long have you been sitting there..?"_

"…_Long enough to see you're upset.. 9, what's going on? Why're you like this? You've never struck me as the kind of person to talk to yourself like that.."_

"_I… Nothing's wrong, 7. Just…you know…doing a little self-motivation."_

"…_You're also not a good liar. I saw that knife you had."_

_His gaze flicked from me, to his light staff, then to me again. His hands tightly gripped his blankets as he spoke._

"_I'm fine, 7. I promise.. I.. What did you want?"_

_Heaving a sigh, I shook my head a little. "Just wanted to see if you'd like to go exploring for a bit."_

_He agreed, and though we spent the rest of the day doing just that, I had a hard time enjoying it. My mind was troubled with the talk he'd given himself, and I stuck near him the whole trip. He tripped so many times, seeming not to care about where his feet ended up, that when we got home, he was covered in tiny tears and scratches all over._

Then, to the night before, when I had desperately tried talking him out of harming himself; I'd won in the end, but as a result, I'd been so unsure of his stability that I'd slept with him- not next to him, but in the same room. I really didn't know what to do. No matter what I said, he refused to listen. He still felt useless, like a failure, and believed that he'd murdered the others.

I, however, knew better than that.

I watched, almost able to detect a slight quivering in his silhouette- shivering, probably. His bulb flickered, then went out, and I heard him sigh heavily.

* * *

><p>I shivered a little as the wind picked up again, disliking the utter loneliness I felt- it was more piercing now that my light staff had burned out. Sighing, I glanced down at the knife in my hand, able to see the small '7' etched into the hilt in the pale moonlight. 7 had given me the blade as a gift, so I would have something to protect myself with.<p>

Well, for what I wanted to use it for, I'd be protecting someone. But not myself.

Listening to the wind in the grass, I felt a stab of regret and misery. I didn't want to be out here. I didn't like it; I was cold, lonely, isolated.. Miserable.

But I felt it was for the best. Not only did I screw up everywhere I went, but if I stayed around 7 and the twins, my guilt would just bring them down. I didn't want to cause them concern. So, I'd told them I was going out to survey the forest outside our new home.

So long as I wasn't around them, they wouldn't get hurt, and they wouldn't be concerned.

Just what I wanted, I guess.

* * *

><p>Watching him and not going to help him was more difficult than I had expected. I wanted to go talk to him, try and comfort him, but something told me that, if I did that, I'd just make him feel worse because of my concern.<p>

And yet, I felt horribly disloyal just standing there. As the night wore on, he sat as still as ever, and I almost wondered if something had happened to him while I'd been watching.

Straining my neck so I could see and hear him just a little better, I soon heard sobbing. Lonely, miserable sobbing. I could see his shoulders shaking as he hunched himself over, and I shivered a little, unable to help myself anymore.

Abandoning my fears, I strode forward out of the forest and approached him; he flinched a little as my feet crunched on dead leaves, and I saw him glance back. Continuing towards him, I saw him stand up and hastily back away; instinctively, I rushed over and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the ledge. Faintly, I heard pebbles tumble down into the lake, and I gulped, knowing that if I'd been a tad slower, he would've plummeted down off the side, either by purpose or by accident, and I might never have seen him again; or he would've gotten very injured, if not killed.

"9... Please, don't run away from me, I need to talk to yo-"

"No, 7!" He gave a bit of a miserable whimper as he attempted to pull away from me. "I.. I'll just drag you down, you don't deserve it after all the pain I've caused you and the twins and the others.."

"But 9, you're just making it worse by-" I hesitated, realizing this might upset him.

Too late.

"I.. I'm not trying to, 7! But I guess I can never do anything right, even when I try my hardest to do the _right_ thing… I killed five of our friends, the only remaining life on this planet.. I made you and the twins more miserable than ever, I ruined your lives.. Brought to life the single most dangerous thing, even when I was being told not to.. I.. I'm a failure, 7! There's no avoiding it, I'm a complete failure, I haven't done a single thing right ever since I awoke.."

This got me thinking, desperately trying to recall memories from over fifty years ago, ones that I'd nearly forgotten in the haze of constantly fighting for my life, just trying to survive from day-to-day.

"…9... What do you think your purpose was? Why do you think we were created?"

"I.. I don't know! The Scientist said that we'd protect the future, with the talisman, but what good is it supposed to do if it's given to me and I can't even protect anything but kill with it?"

I shook my head, my hand finding its way to his chin, preventing him from looking away.

"No, 9. I saw your blueprints shortly after I awoke, and.. On it, the Scientist had written that you were meant to 'save us.' I don't know who that 'us' is, and I probably never will, but 9.. You saved the life on the planet. Look at the grass underneath your feet.. Most of it is dead, yes, but if you look closely, there's tiny tendrils of green… I think that's what the Scientist meant for us to do."

He remained silent, so I continued.

"In fact.. I know that's what the Scientist meant for us to do. He told me, before he released me into the world, that our kind was meant to protect life however possible."

"…But I didn't protect any life! I killed _five _of our family members, before I'd barely even gotten to know them… I could've done better, 7, I should've, and I even tried, but they just kept dying because of MY stupid mistake!"

He gave another whimper, looking at me with desperate optics. "Please, 7, just let me go.. I don't want to be around you, I want to be alone, it's what I deserve for what I've done.

Desperately, he squirmed away from me, but I persisted, grabbing his arm. It hurt me to see him like that, so hateful of himself, when he truly was a great person.. He'd made some mistakes in his life, but why did he seem to feel they made him deserve to die?

I knew he wasn't a killer; he was the most innocent person I'd ever known, so full of a desire to learn about the world around him, to learn everything he could about how things worked and why they did certain things and not others..

"…No, 9.. I can't leave. I want to be by you. It would be an honor for me to stand by you, to help you through your grief. You seem to think that I have a lot of grief for the five who died, but you know what? I know they're free, and to me, that's all that matters. It doesn't hurt as much as you seem to think."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, then continued. "But what does hurt me, more than anything, is seeing you like this.. You're being so horribly suicidal, 9. I can't take it, it's incredibly upsetting to me.. Don't you realize you're just hurting me more by avoiding me, and acting like nothing's wrong?" Gulping, I felt myself begin to lightly tremble; I didn't fight it, however. Maybe it'd help show him how much this effected me, mentally and physically.

"I _know _something's wrong with you, 9. It's not a secret, it's never been. It's made it hard for me to sleep, I've been so worried about you…. Please, won't you just see that you didn't do anything wrong? You had little to do with the deaths of the others.."

He looked as if he was processing this all, but then he spoke. "I.. No, 7, I did do something wrong. Everything I've done has been wrong.. I put the talisman in the Fabrication Machine, and because of that mistake, our friends are dead… I'm a kille-"

"NO, 9! Don't you see? If you hadn't done that, life would never have begun to return.. The Fabrication Machine would have already awoken; the cat beast was already taking 2 and the talisman to the factory… We would've never known it had awoken and we would have been caught off guard, and we ALL probably would have gotten killed!" I trembled worse, trying to get him to understand that he _hadn't _done the wrong thing, he'd never done the wrong thing, it'd simply been a mistake, and I knew that he had, with all his heart, meant to do the right thing.

Understanding seemed to begin to show in his eyes, and I gulped.

"You did the right thing. It.. It caused some deaths, yes, but it was what had to be done.. The others _had _to die, as cruel as it is. You weren't responsible for the other's deaths.. All of them either ran off, were separated, or pretty much got caught on purpose…"

Slowly, I settled down onto the cool ground, glancing up at him and lightly tugging on his arm so he'd sit beside me. He obliged, and I, without actually realizing it, leaned my head on his shoulder, my optics closing. "And it's not like I forgot who saved my life back then… I was about to die, and you saved me.. I'm more thankful than ever to you for just that alone, 9.."

9 blinked, glancing down at his shuffling hands, before responding with a quiet voice. "So.. Y-…you think I actually…did something good..? Not bad..?"

I nodded, glancing up at him. "With all my soul."

"…Well…then… Thank you, 7.. I.. I think I feel a little better now.."

I paused a moment, unable to help but nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck. All this worrying about him had made me realize just how much I loved him, as a friend, maybe even as more.. Even though the thought set my heart thudding, I knew it was true. Hoping it'd make him feel better, despite how nervous it made me feel, I decided to tell him.

My hand slid over and found his, and I cautiously intertwined our fingers, watching his expression closely as I spoke. "…9... You know, I've realized something.. I hope you won't take this the wrong way.. But.. I think I.. I think that I…"

Shuffling my feet, I sighed. I just couldn't spit it out. Pausing, I soon smiled. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his, and gave a small shiver. Passion seemed to take me over, and what I had planned to be just a small peck had become much more. I'd never felt such before, but it just reaffirmed my love for him even more.

We stayed like that for a long while, but I soon pulled away to see his stunned, but dorkily joyful face. "…I know that I love you."

"Oh, 7... I.. I love you too.. I've loved you since I first saw you. You and that beautiful face, those amazing moves, that sweet voice…."

Ducking my head, I smiled. "Well.. Though I won't say I loved you the second I saw you, I certainly did start to feel very close to you the more I got to know you.. You and that handsome, adorable face, and your dorkiness." Chuckling, I pressed my forehead to his cheek, nuzzling it with my optics.

He gave a bashful giggle, and he glanced away, up at the sky, gasping after a moment."7! Look!"

Following his gaze, I stared up at the sky for a long while. The light fog had parted and disappeared, revealing the dark sky, despite the fact it was already beginning to pale and brighten, a tiny sliver of light visible on the horizon. Where the sky was still dark, a star would pass overhead every few seconds. I glanced at 9, and saw his face alight with childish curiosity and awe.

A smile crept on my face. I adored that look, almost as much as I adored 9 himself.

Leaning my head on his shoulder, I gazed up at it as well. At one point, the show seemed to stop, and at such a dull moment, I couldn't help but yawn, optics drowsily closing. I peeked my optics open once more to speak. "…I love you so much, 9..."

As I spoke, another shooting star flew overhead and disappeared on our right.

"….My shining star."


End file.
